Something’s been on my mind for a long time: the superficiality of the prayer requests we hear. I receive as many as half a dozen emails from my church every day. Someone’s fallen down; someone’s having surgery; someone passed away; someone wants a safe trip to Texas; someone has an exam coming up. Now don’t get me wrong… these requests are important. I’m sure God delights in our taking any and all requests before Him.

But there’s something missing. Why is it we only pray for the things no one expects we can change? We have no trouble sharing prayer requests for things we cannot do anything about because there’s no shame in admitting it. Of course I can’t heal cancer, or guarantee a safe air trip to Florida. If Jimmy breaks his arm, there’s nothing I can do to help it heal faster. These are all safe requests. If God answers them, we rejoice because we got our way. If God says no, we can point the finger at Him and say, “Well, clearly it wasn’t HIS will. Don’t look at me!”

My question, though, is this: Where are the unsafe requests? Where’s the man who admits he’s struggling with pornography? Where’s the woman who’s addicted to gossip? And the parents who are in over their head with a rebellious teen? Why are we not praying for the couple who can’t make ends meet financially? In all my years at Church, the first several of these have never come up. A few brave souls will mention financial problems, but only as, “I need money because I’ve lost my job.” You’ll never hear, “I have no money to feed my family because I have a spending problem and keep buying toys I can’t afford.” Again, we’re stuck in safe things. I can confess I’ve lost my job because it wasn’t my fault. My employer downsized — I can’t help that. Never have I heard a person ask for prayer because he has a bad temper and it cost him his job despite a terribly patient boss.

Why do we avoid these requests? I think there are two reasons. The first is pride. To request prayer because Uncle Tom’s brother’s second cousin three times removed… Susie… has cancer, is pious. We get to feel like we’re being good Christians, devoted to prayer. And for a few of us, that may even be true. But to request prayer because we’re failing as a husband/father/worker, now we have a problem. Our horrid pride says, “You can’t admit that! Maybe they WILL help you, but good grief! You’ll ruin your perfect image! They’ll think… they’ll think you FAIL at something!” So we remain silent. We keep that smile pasted on and tell our friends our marriage is still in the honeymoon stage, our kids are angels, and we’re practically second in command at the office.

The second reason, I think, is that we fear opening ourselves up for responsibility. If I mention that Tim’s driving to the store and needs a safe trip, I’m off the hook. Tim’s going to go to the store, and it’s entirely up to God to keep his attention on the road and his car out of danger. But if I ask for prayer for an addiction to electronic devices, people are going to expect me to take action. They might demand that I stop buying. they may even suggest that I get RID of some of my toys. Those prayer requests are dangerous because we already know the answer! We know what God demands of us. But if we mention our shortcomings to others, they’re going to know we aren’t living as we ought. They’re going to start holding us accountable and getting after us. If the gossip comes to a Bible study and her friends pray for an hour that she be set free from gossiping, they’re going to expect her to watch her speech!

And here’s the kicker… Whether or not Jake dies of cancer, whether or not the plane to Pittsburgh crashes, whether or not we have another breath on this earth — these are all totally in God’s hand, and He WILL see to it that His will be done. But those unsafe requests? They’re in our hands. Our responsibility isn’t born when we confess these things to one another; it’s already upon us. We know what is expected of us already – to live as Christ lived, to have the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, to produce fruit in repentance, to confess sins to one another, to love God and love our neighbors. But if we start talking and praying about these things, the bar is going to be raised. We’re going to start expecting better out of one another. We’re going to hold one another accountable.

The good news is incredible, though. We have everything already that we need for life and godliness! If we swallow our pride and confess our shortcomings to one another, if we boldly approach the throne of God and beg Him to have mercy on us and free us from sin, He will. So the real question that remains is this:

Do I want the Kingdom of God enough to deny my prideful self, die daily to my fleshly desires, abandon my sinful ways, and obey?

For those who say yes, eternal life awaits. But I’m afraid most of us will remain on the wide road that leads to destruction… the road that seems to keep us safe but in the end leads to our destruction. And I think our prayer lives illustrate that all too well.